Reckless, Part One

An invitation into reckless rest.

Photo by Jessica Delp on Unsplash

It’s interesting to me that the adjective “reckless” has largely carried a negative connotation with it, especially when applied to life. As if to be reckless is only to let go of all responsibility and obligation to others, to live carelessly, to throw life away. But is that the only potential that the word “reckless” holds?

I’m beginning to believe that, perhaps, there’s another way for applying this descriptor. As I walk deeper into faith, I am feeling the urge to live a little bit more recklessly, shamelessly, and with a little more abandon. As my pastor put it, to live rather as a lion in the wild than as a lion in the zoo. What does this look like, what does this mean? I myself don’t fully know, and seem to be only scratching the surface. “Reckless” is a fiery and action-packed word, with many avenues for thoughtful and exciting exploration.

Which is why I am intentionally starting with an exploration of rest, with sitting still, because that seems to be the hardest thing to do in this chaotic world.

So, here we go.

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“So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation” (Genesis‬ ‭2‬:‭3‬ ‭ESV‬‬).

I spoke at a men’s retreat recently, and began by reading these very words. And with these words, we have a mystery: what is rest? Why do we need rest? How do we rest in the various areas of our lives? How are we to celebrate Sabbath?

In order to dig deeper into the question of rest, I had to start with a much more challenging and fearful question: What keeps you up at night? What robs you of rest?

So, with my heart beating out of my chest, I shared a little bit about what keeps me up at night. For me, it’s anxiety. The fear of not measuring up as a man, and as a human being in general. The parts of me that seem out of line, dislocated, broken. The questions and uncertainties of how to live with same sex attraction, besetting addiction, the fear of rejection and low self-confidence that all too often paralyzes me. The expectations in life warring for my attention, both for good and for ill.

Sounds familiar? You may resonate with some of these thieves of rest.

Ultimately, I said, it comes down to me spending more time with life’s expectations, than with the One who gave me life in the first place. Reckless rest cannot happen without living in light of the Father’s reckless love.

My first conclusion, then, in my pursuit of a more reckless faith, is to learn how to better rest in God’s presence, and get to know Him for who He is. Maybe this means taking more consistent quiet moments at the start of the day, or spending the final moments before sleep dwelling on the ways God has shown His rich goodness to me throughout the day - even if the day in question has been painfully difficult. In the end, I need to keep offering these “thieves of rest” to my Creator, and learning His heart for the aspects of life that leave me feeling broken and bedraggled.

That, I believe, is where the invitation into reckless rest begins.

But where does the Creator take us from here? What is He inviting you and me into? To be continued.

Lake Winnipesaukee, NH © Graham Jackson, 2023